16 Funny Quotes About America

Date:03-07-2013 10:40:24 read:2

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When it comes to America, there is no dearth of funny quotes, some incredibly made by Americans themselves. Some are witty and some drily sarcastic. Almost each one of them is likely to bring a grin, some even leading you to outright laughter. Here are some of the funniest quotes on America that you will come across.

1. “In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.”

2. “It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.”

3. “When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat.”

4. “American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.”

5. “The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.”

6. “I’ve got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren’t any. They are always Irish-American, African-American…There is never an American-American you can blame.”

7. “Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it is in Hamburger Technology.”

8. “America is the sort of country where you have a Chinese woman serving you Mexican food telling you to eat it in Italian.”

9. “Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”

10. “Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”

11. “America is a country that doesn’t know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.”

12. “Turn left at Greenland.”

13. “You’ve lived in America for twenty years. Eat badly, damn it.”

14. “America is the best half-educated country in the world.”

15. “It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.”

16. “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick and Colon. Need I say more?”

    Ever For Health Copy Rights 2013